


and no one else can haunt me the way that you can haunt me

by lanyon



Series: i've got your blood under my fingernails [10]
Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Community: ccbingo, M/M, the all-singing and all-dancing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-12
Updated: 2012-02-12
Packaged: 2017-10-31 01:05:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/338215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lanyon/pseuds/lanyon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And then it is Valentine’s Day and Barton’s dragged out of a corner in a storage closet by his ankle at Darcy Lewis’ request. It is unfair that she is allowed to use puppy dog eyes to manipulate both Steve and Thor. There is a plan. A team-building plan. It involves a lot of pink and a lot of singing. Barton dies a little on the inside.</p>
            </blockquote>





	and no one else can haunt me the way that you can haunt me

It’s nearly Valentine’s Day. It’s a truly horrifying thought. Stark’s making all kinds of indecent suggestions for how the day can be spent. The worst of it is that there is no crawl-space in the Avenger Mansion that JARVIS cannot locate. Ratted out by a disembodied voice, time and time again; it's not good for Barton's ego.

 

No, the worst of it is that there’s no sign of Coulson. Since the Super Bowl baddie, he’s been kept busy. Barton doesn’t even know what country he’s in. His office is dark and quiet and not because Coulson’s hiding in there, working only by the light of his computer screen in the hope that no one will disturb him (he should know by now that that never works).

 

And then it is Valentine’s Day and Barton’s dragged out of a corner in a storage closet by his ankle at Darcy Lewis’ request. It is unfair that she is allowed to use puppy dog eyes to manipulate both Steve and Thor. There is a plan. A team-building plan. It involves a lot of pink and a lot of singing. Barton dies a little on the inside.

 

Stark has rented a bar and installed some sort of high-tech karaoke system. Steve looks as horrified as Barton feels except that he gets a free pass because he doesn’t know any music published after the early forties and, apparently, no one wants to hear Cole Porter in the key of Rogers.

 

Barton begins to relax. The pink prosecco helps. He’s not going to ask whose idea that was and he maintains that his masculinity is perfectly intact (or, at least, more intact than Thor’s who actually cannot hold the delicate stemmed glasses and drinks straight from the bottle). The drinks are pink and the food is pink and Pepper is at the opposite end of the room to where the strawberries are laid out, like little traitors, she says. She scowls at them but pink prosecco makes everything better for her, too.

 

No one expects her to sing Black Sabbath, but someone has to do it. Everyone sings along to Carly Simon, apart from Tony, who just knows that this song is about him. It gets rowdy fast when Darcy sings _Single Ladies_ and Jane and Natasha do the fucking dance. Everyone’s kind of surprised that Jane’s loosened up that much but apparently she learned the dance to prove to Darcy that it doesn’t actually defy the laws of physics. No amount of peer pressure or racial stereotyping will induce Fury to sing _Men in Black_. He’s leaning against the bar with Steve, and drinking JD is totally cheating on the theme of the night but no one’s going to argue. It’s possible that certain people in the room get a little misty-eyed when Banner gets up to sing, with a great deal of prodding. He sort of hunches over the mic but loosens up when everyone roars out the chorus ( _and Betty when you call me, you can call me Al_ ). It’s a fucking beautiful moment, which has nothing to do with the fact that the alcohol doesn’t actually stop flowing.

 

If Barton had known that this is what Valentine’s Day could be, he’d have given in years ago. Oh, he knows, he knows that someone important is missing and he kind of hopes, every so often, that Coulson will do his ninja thing and appear at his elbow. Next thing he knows, though, Hill’s singing _Trouble_ and he’s fucking line-dancing. SHIELD agents know how to party.

 

When Tony finally gets up to sing, he scowls at the screen and informs everyone that there’s been a glitch. His song’s not on there. And when everyone - every last fucking person in the room - starts singing _Star Spangled Man_ , Barton thinks Steve might die. They should probably explain to him that SHIELD attracts a certain type of hero and a certain type of agent and, no, they’re not actually sat down on their first day and taught the words. Oh, no. Most of them arrive knowing the damned song. Steve reaches for another bottle of JD and Barton knows the look. It’s the look that begs that, this time, perhaps the alcohol will hit his blood before his super-serum gets his super-liver to produce super-enzymes but, no, he’s left sitting there, acutely embarrassed, with his hand covering his face.

 

It’s beautiful.

 

And then it’s Barton’s turn. He’s thought about this. There’s a line to walk. A certain manly reputation to maintain. He’s coming to the end of _Birdhouse in your Soul_ when he sees a shape at the back of the room. A shape that sidles in next to Fury and Rogers.

 

Of course, Stark notices Coulson, too, and bellows that he’s not allowed to stay unless he sings. Coulson’s lips thin. He looks exhausted. Barton can see that from all the way across the room. Coulson points out that neither Fury nor Rogers are singing but he’s informed of their free passes by virtue of their bad-assedness and old-fashionedness, respectively.

 

It’s Romanov to the rescue, of course. She hasn’t sung yet either and she hands Coulson a glass of something that looks considerably stronger than prosecco. They confer and then both go the front and pick up microphones. Coulson doesn’t look as awkward as Barton thought he might; he just looks resigned which means it’s just another day ending in ‘y’ for Agent Coulson.

 

Stark says that it’s cheating to do a duet and Pepper slaps him, which is satisfying for all concerned.

 

Romanov and Coulson sing and Barton has to make his way to the back of the room, to the JD, whatever about his teammates. It’s _Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off_ and Steve is smiling now because here’s a song he recognises and his foot is tapping slightly and maybe he’s transported to the forties but everyone knows he’s got two left feet.

 

The song finishes and there’s a pause and Darcy shakes her head because that was fucking magnificent and she announces that amateur hour is over. Barton has to agree. He’s sat in Coulson’s car as he’s hummed along to Mozart and to Nine Inch Nails (and let that be a lesson; never accept a lift from Coulson when it’s a Trent Reznor day because even placid SHIELD agents sometimes suffer from road rage).

 

Stark, ever gracious, says that Coulson can stay but now Coulson’s shaking his head and he meets Barton’s gaze and his lips curve into a smile.

 

“I was just leaving.”

 

Barton’s throat goes dry. He gets his coat.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> +Thanks to feelschat, always.  
> +Title from _Tonight the Streets Are Ours_ by Richard Hawley.  
>  +Written for Bingo Prompt: "Singing Together".


End file.
